Never Say Divorce Memes

I see memes like this on Facebook all the time. Maybe I'm being over sensitive, but every time one of my friends posts one I want to throat punch them. (Or your know, unfriend them). 

I admit, before I was married, I felt this way too. I couldn't foresee a future where the man I decided to marry would do something so horrendous that I couldn't get past it. 

As it turns out I married a man who cheated. A lot. He was an habitual cheater. A serial adulterer. In fact I don't think the man was ever faithful, but I think he and I had different definitions of faithful. To me, you can be unfaithful and not be currently cheating. There's a big difference. Cheating is the actual physical act of adultry. Being unfaithful is everything else that goes along with it. So to me, my ex was maybe not always cheating but he was never faithful. At one point he had a girlfriend, was also sleeping with her sister AND was sleeping with prostitutes he found on Craigslist. As it turns out, the prostitute thing was something he did on a regular basis all along. 

I'm writing this all rather nonchalantly now, I've had plenty of time to process it. At the time that all of this came to light? I was horrified. We seperated for some time.... and then I took him back. Looking back it was attitudes like this meme that allowed me to think that staying in a bad marriage was a good idea. Now my ex wasn't just a cheater he was a rotten husband in other ways that I'm not quite ready to delve into here, so when things were bad they were REALLY bad. However on the flip side, when things were good, they seemed really good.

 I grew up with a single mother. I wanted my daughter to grow up with both of her parents. I assumed that as my husband aged, he would somehow grow out of the bad behavior and that eventually things would be fine. He swore up and down that he wasn't cheating anymore. He even had an app on his phone that allowed me to track him. Then I went on vacation with the kids and my family. My ex stayed behind. I spoke to him every evening that we were gone. As it turns out, he was sleeping with Craigslist hookers at 3 in the afternoon. When I returned home, I found a paper with the name of a cheap motel and room number written on it. That's when all his lies really started to unravel. I realized that he had never stopped cheating. He had just learned to hide it better. One way that he would get money for the prostitutes without me knowing was to prepay for gas. See he would take a $100 bill and walk into the gas station and use it to prepay for gas. The attendant would give him a receipt for the gas, showing that he had spent the $100. Then he was free to pump whatever amount he wanted and come back for his change. Now he has a receipt accounting for the money to show me and cash in his pocket to spend on girls. Pretty ingenious, right? 

It was finally to the point where I had to take a serious look at our situation. This is real life, not Pretty Woman. These aren't nice girls hooking their way through med school. These are likely drug users who were banging his money in their arm the minute he'd leave. His sex addiction was going to kill us both and he refused to get any help. Hell, maybe I'm wrong here and there was no sex addiction. Maybe he was just a horny douchbag. Either way? I couldn't remain married to him. 

So yeah, when I see my friends post memes like this, I take it personal. After everything, I still believe in love. I still believe in the institution of marriage. I don't know if either will come my way again, but I'm hopeful. I also know that not every marriage is fixable. Not every problem can be worked out. It takes two people to make a marriage but it only takes one to destroy it. My marriage was not something I could fix myself, no matter how hard I tried. 

I know that with him gone, my life is simpler. I'm happier. My kids are happier. I'm a better parent without all the stress brought on by being married to a cheating jerk. Now, if he would just pay a little child support....

Cargo Blush...looks can be deceiving

For quite some time now I've been wanting to try out Cargo's blush. It's regularly $26 for each metal tub so when Ulta had it on sale for $13 during their 21 Days of Beauty Sale I snapped up 2. (I probably would have bought another but they sold out of the other color I wanted to try very quickly)

The containers look pretty huge when compared to other similar products. I had read reviews stating there was a lot of product for the money. However when my 2 arrived one was detached from the packaging. Now it's not a big deal when it comes to using the blush. The blush itself wasn't broken but as you can see from the picture there is a plastic spacer that takes up over half of the metal container. The actual amount of blush is very average. 

This isn't to say that I'm not pleased with the product. It turns out I really do like the blush. The water resistant Los Cabos (the orangey one) is actually very flattering. I've been mixing it with the regular powder blush in Catalina and I'm loving the color combo. I'm just surprised that a company that generally has minimalistic packaging is making their containers appear to contain more than they do. Yes, there is a weight clearly stamped on the back. I'm not saying they're committing fraud or anything that serious, but if I hadn't received the particular package that I did, I would have expected it to last much longer and probably been kind of annoyed when I realized it was almost empty less than half way to the bottom of the tub. 

First Coat....

Just finished the first coat of copper paint on the stove. And....it's a little scary. As of now it doesn't look very good. I'm still hopeful though. The first coat on the fridge looked pretty rough so I'm hoping that the stove will turn out well too. The metallic paint seems a bit more sheer so I think it may take some additional coats to cover. 

Stove Makeover: Step One

So since the fridge painting went so well I decided to start on the stove today. I bought some copper colored paint at the craft store the other day, it says it's good for metal and is safe for indoor and outdoor projects. I started today by sanding and priming the stove with the Glidden Gripper again. I taped off the stove top and door, though for whatever reason the Frog Tape that I love so much absolutely refused to stick to the glass. I used bleach cleaner and dried it completely but my favorite painter's tape wouldn't stick. I ended up using some orange Scotch tape I had bought on clearance for my daughter to craft with. 

Here's a pic of the first stage. Once the primer is dry I'll start in with the paint. Hopefully I'll have some nice pics to share of the finished project soon!

Save on Halloween at Target

Today only Target has a great deal on their Cartwheel app: 40% halloween costumes. They've got 40% off Hershey Candy Halloween assortment bags too, but the costume is the biggie I think. 

If you don't have the cartwheel app and you shop at Target, do yourself a favor and download it. 

Right now. 

Seriously, I'll wait. 

This app is fantastic. The more you save, the more spaces you unlock to be able to save even more. Since downloading this app I've saved over $500! I mean come on, that's huge. That's $500 that stayed in my pocket. The savings was on things I needed to buy anyway so it's even better. The app is free so there's nothing to lose. 

Man I love Target. 

Glitter Tile Wall

Another room on my small budget, DIY, home makeover list, is my bathroom. We only have the one, I'd seriously sell an organ for a second bath. Well maybe for a second bath and a basement. Organs seem pretty valuable....

But since that doesn't seem like a viable option, I'm stuck working with the one and only bathroom I have. The wall behind the toilet is white tile. Well, I'm not sure what the original color is, from what I saw behind the trim I think it's some sort of a burgundy / gray combo, but when I bought the house it had already been painted white. I've given it a couple more white coats in the last 10 years, the most recent being a couple weeks ago. I also pulled up the old, ugly linoleum and put down tile. Sticky tile, but still. It's a vast improvement and I did it all by myself. (Really REALLY proud of that one!)  I painted the walls a soft green, and replaced the shower curtain. I also used Mdoge Podge to attach some black and white damask paper to the plastic plates surrounding the light switch and electric plugs. It was a huge improvement all around but it needed something...more. 

And then it hit me. 

Glitter. 

The bathroom needed glitter. I decided to add some sparkle to that tile wall behind the toilet. So I picked up some Modge Podge. I have a decent supply, but for this I wanted something extra strong. I bought the kind that says it's indoor/outdoor and dishwasher safe. I figure if it can go outside and go through the dishwasher, it should be good enough to hold up some glitter in my bathroom. I might not have worried as much in any other room (I use Modge Podge a LOT) but the ventilation in my tiny bathroom isn't great so I wanted to make sure the steam didn't ruin my work. 

I picked up some extra fine white glitter. It gave the wall I really pretty opalescent sparkle. I started by cleaning the tile with bleach just to make sure it was extra clean so everything would stick. I mixed some Midge Podge and glitter in a small bowl and started painting. Originally, I used a foam brush but it wasn't working as well as I thought it would so I ended up using a regular paint brush. It took several coats but it's come out exactly the way I had hoped. I love it! Now the only thing left to do is look around for the next thing in the house I can glitter....

Finished Fridge

So it took me a few extra days to completely finish he fridge, mostly because I was putting off the trip to the craft store. I love Michael's. I really do. However...every time I go in there for a few quick things I end up needing to refinance my house to foot the bill. No, no, I suppose it's not really quite that bad but I'm totally guilty of way too many impulse buys when I shop for craft supplies. 

This time I needed white ribbon to finish the board I made to cover the ice maker in the freezer door. I downloaded the Michael's app so I was able to get some coupons to help cover all the things I bought in addition to the ribbon. 

Anyways, I think it came out pretty well. I'm sorry, I didn't take any pictures of the process, though it was really pretty simple. I used a random piece of cardboard, (It was actually part of the box from the new toilet seat I installed in the bathroom.), a couple old tee shirts which I cut up and layered over the cardboard to add a little padding, and a piece of fabric I had laying around. The ribbon I had in my bow making supplies, but since I ran out half way through I had to make that aforementioned trip to the craft store for more. I actually attached everything with duct tape. The ribbon is just woven, over-under to keep it a little extra secure. Th fabric I chose has a grid pattern on it so it was easier to place each ribbon equidistant from the one before. 

Overall I'm pretty geeked about the total transformation. I picked up some bronze paint to do the stove (and maybe the microwave, depending on how well the stove looks) so hopefully the kitchen will start to take shape soon! 

Benefits of the Chalkboard Fridge

My oldest is 15. He is an awesome kid and a super nice big brother. He's also insanely forgetful and tends to overlook things. The chalkboard fridge provides a space for a reminder even he can't miss. This is definitely one of the best DIY projects I've done!

Kindergarten Homework

I feel like I need to preface this post by saying that my daughter happens to love homework. She actually instructed me to "Treat me like my brother. Tell me I can't play until my homework is finished." 

...

Last year at kindergarten round up, when we met with the teachers and had things explained to us (parents) we were told that the kids would receive optional homework. We were told that they were learning all day and while it was nice for them to do educational things at home as well, some kids just weren't up to it. That seems to make sense to me. I talk with the other mothers. I know some of their kids are burned out and tired at the end of the day. The transition from preschool 3 hours a day, 3 days a week to kindergarten 5 full days a week has been more difficult for some. 

So when the September homework packet and ready log came home I assumed it was the optional homework that had been discussed last Spring. My daughter did 3 pages in one sitting. The book report, we have yet to finish. Yes. Book report. 

Today, a newsletter came home informing us of the due date of the September homework packet.  Seeing as I thought it was optional, I was surprised at the due date with no mention of completion being a choice. Now don't get me wrong, my daughter is loving it. I don't mind one bit doing a book report with her, but I know some of my fellow parents are less than thrilled. 

This homework sitch is not the only thing that has changed from the parent meeting last year. We were told the kids could read or do something like play Legos alone during nap time, as long as they were quiet. It was explained as more of a rest and relaxation, quiet time than an actual nap time. They said that some kids still really need that nap, but for those that don't it's ok to just entertain themselves quietly. According to my daughter, that has not been the case. In fact, my daughter the little people pleaser that she is, actually pretends to sleep just so she is following the rules to a T. 

There are a few other minor details that have changed but these too are the biggies for me. 

Chalkboard Fridge Success!

I'm super excited to report that my efforts to make my once ugly fridge into a giant chalkboard were successful! 

It's come out even better than I expected. I'm not sure if it was the gripper primer or the chalkboard paint, but I used a brush and there aren't any brush strokes in the paint on the metal. The handles came out reasonably well with the gloss black I used. I also painted over the controls for the water / ice maker in the freezer door. If they actually functioned properly I would probably have painted over them anyway and used a chalk marker to label them just to be cute, but unfortunately the ice maker doesn't work. So I'm in the process of making a ribbon message board to cover it up. I'll post pics once I get it done, I just ran out of the white ribbon I'm using so I won't be able to finish it until I have a chance to get over to the craft store. Michael's is a dangerous place though. I could drop a small fortune there without much effort. If I bring my daughter? Oh no. I'll have to mortgage my house to pay the bill. So I will most likely not be making that trip until Monday when she's in school. 

I Hate DirectTV

A couple years back I decided to switch from cable to satellite. The initial offer was pretty good and I was told that since there were a lot of trees in my neighborhood, if the signal wasn't great after trying to reposition the dish a couple times that I would be released from my contract without penalty. 

Yeah, that didn't happen. Well, the problems getting a decent signal happened. They just refused to honor their promise to let me out of the contract. Yes, I suppose could have just stopped paying the bill, however it would be a black mark on my credit, which after some of the shady things my ex pulled, I really want to avoid. Also, in the fine print they explain that once you pay with a credit card or bank account, if you fail to complete your contract they will simply charge your card or account with the amount they feel you owe. 

So I was stuck with awful service that went out each time it rained, snowed or the sky got a little cloudy. Basically, the times when you really want to kick back and watch some TV it was impossible. Now I could use my DVR and watch shows I had already recorded when the weather was bad, but if there was something scheduled to record when the conditions outside weren't perfect? Forget about it. 

Now today I woke up to find th main receiver in th living room won't turn on. I tried turning it off and turning it back on. I tried hitting the reset button. I keep getting the same error. I'm not certain how the receiver broke while it was shut off and we were all sleeping, it was working last night before I went to bed, but I'm taking this as a sign. My contract is finally up and I've been putting off changing providers because, well I don't know why, it just seemed like a hassle and any changes give me a little anxiety. 

So now I just have to decide between XFinity with Comcast or UVerse with AT&T. Decisions, decisions...

Ipsy Glam Bag September

This month my Ipsy glam bag has some great shades for Fall. The lotion is really great, it's my favorite item so far. I love getting these surprise bags every month. They use the profile I filled out to pick great samples to try. Sometimes there are delux sample size products and sometimes they're full size. I've gotten makeup brushes, nail polish, all kinds of cool beauty items. Usually the products are rather expensive brands so it's a nice way to try them before committing to spending a lot on something you may not love. It costs $10 per month and each set comes with a makeup bag. I really like that about Ipsy. Click here to check it out!  

Ibotta

One way to get a little money back from shopping trips is by downloading the Ibotta app. There are lots of rebates for each store. Once you reach $10 you can cash out via PayPal or choose a gift card option. I always just go for the cash. Since downloading the app I've earned almost $195 back. Below is a pic of my total cash back earnings. 

If you sign up its nice to join a team so you can earn the teamwork bonuses each month. The bigger the team, the more money everyone earns. If you'd like to join my team the code is: munnw 

Ugly Fridge No More...I Hope

I admit it. I'm a Pinterest junkie. I love that app more than I probably should. Recently I've been really into DIY home improvement. My ex really messed some things up. He would start a project and never finish it. Over the 8 years we were married, these projects really began to mount up. I was trying to put into words my reason for feeling like I needed to make some changes around my house after the divorce and my best friend really put it best. He said, " Instead of looking at everything your ex did wrong, now you get to look around at all the things you did right." He couldn't have possibly said it any better. So my latest project is the fridge. It's ugly. The water / ice maker hasn't worked since my ex brought it home. So today I decided to do something about it. First I started by turning off the valve to the water so it won't drip at all. Then I plugged up the hole completely so that no air escapes. I bought s primer that I read about on Pinterest, Glidden Gripper. I covered the entire fridge in this primer. Tomorrow, I'll be painting it with black chalkboard paint. It's a project I've seen online a few times and funny enough, on the Disney Channel show, Good Luck Charlie, their refrigerator is painted completely in chalkboard paint too. So here are the pics of the first step in the process, so far so good. Hopefully the end results will come out just as well. 

The primer dried pretty quickly, but as I was going, I painted part of the handles, leaving a space unpainted so I could still open the fridge. Once the rest of the primer dried I primed the empty section of the door handle. The last pic is of the fridge completely primed. 

 

Ulta, beauty steals

This month Ulta has different products on sale every day. This isn't your average sale, these are significant discounts on some really great products. I'm a beauty product junkie. I love makeup and I firmly believe that you don't get the same quality with drugstore brands as you do with the higher end brands. Today they have one of my favorite mascaras on sale. Normally $21 each, Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes 4 in 1 Mascara is 50% off making it $10.50! There is also a sale on Pur Minerals Mineral Mist, regularly priced at $19, for $10 today. I've never tried this so I can't recommend it one way or the other though.

Back to School

I know my daughter is getting older. I'm not totally in denial...not totally. I admit, I still refer to her as "the baby" when I'm talking to the dogs (don't judge me). I say things like "Awww give the baby kisses." or "Don't jump on the baby!" or "Be good, I'll be right back, I just have to pick up the baby." She started kindergarten this week. Now, it's in the same building as her preschool, but it's still a big change. The preschool, while held in the same building as the elementary school, is run through the district but is not free like the rest of the public school. The preschool has its own separate entrance and the kids didn't attend all day or even every day. When she was 3, she went 2 days a week, 3 hours per day. When she was 4, she went 3 days a week, 3 hours per day. Now, she's in real elementary school, attending 5 full days every week. The first 3 days were half days to help get the kids (and probably the parents) acclimated. It really hit me this week. She's on this school journey for, at the very least, the next 13 years. Add in college, and this is really a long process that is starting right now. I'm having commitment issues for her. It's just such a long time. She's still my baby and I'm not sure I'm ready for her to go out into the world without me. But life doesn't slow down and wait for me to be ready. We're both jumping in feet first, and I have to admit it's going well. She's ready for this. She is incredibly bright and consciences. She cares about her friends and cares about always following the rules. Her preschool teachers told me she was the kind of kid kindergarten teachers fight over. She loves school and se loves learning. These things make it a little easier for me to let go, but it's still a little crushing. Given my current status as a recently divorced mom, chances are this is my last baby. And she's not a baby anymore.